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LETTER94
CHARLESLAMBTOTHOMASMANNING
[Nodate.?Feb.15,1802.]
Notasentence,notasyllableofTrismegistus,shallbelostthroughmyneglect.Iamhisword-banker,hisstorekeeperofpunsandsyllogisms.Youcannotconceive(andifTrismegistuscannot,nomancan)thestrangejoywhichIfeltatthereceiptofaletterfromParis.Itseemedtogivemealearnedimportance,whichplacedmeaboveallwhohadnotParisiancorrespondents.BelievethatIshallcarefullyhusbandeveryscrap,whichwillsaveyouthetroubleofmemory,whenyoueback.Youcannotwritethingssotrifling,letthemonlybeaboutParis,whichIshallnottreasure.Inparticular,Imusthaveparallelsofactorsandactresses.ImustbetoldifanybuildinginParisisatallparabletoSt.Pauls,which,contrarytotheusualmodeofthatpartofournaturecalledadmiration,Ihavelookeduptowithunfadingwondereverymorningattenoclock,eversinceithaslaininmywaytobusiness.AtnoonIcasuallyglanceuponit,beinghungry;andhungerhasnotmuchtasteforthefinearts.Isanynight-walkparabletoawalkfromSt.PaulstoCharingCross,forlightingandpaving,crowdsgoingandingwithoutrespite,therattleofcoachesandthecheerfulnessofshops?Haveyouseenamanguillotinedyet?isitasgoodashanging?arethewomenallpainted,andthemenallmonkeys?oraretherenotafewthatlooklikerationalofbothsexes?AreyouandtheFirstConsulthick?AllthisexpenseofinkImayfairlyputyouto,asyourletterswillnotbesolelyformyproperpleasure,butaretoserveasmemorandaandnotices,helpsforshortmemory,akindofRumfordisingrecollection,foryourselfonyourreturn.Yourletterwasjustwhatalettershouldbe,crammedandveryfunny.EverypartofitpleasedmetillyoucametoParis;andyourdamndphilosophicalindolenceorindifferencestungme.Youcannotstirfromyourroomstillyouknowthelanguage!Whatthedevil!—aremennothingbutword-trumpets?aremenalltongueandear?havethesecreatures,thatyouandIprofesstoknowsomethingabout,nofaces,gestures,gabble:nofolly,noabsurdity,noinductionofFrencheducationupontheabstractideaofmenandwomen,nosimilitudenordis-similitudetoEnglish!Why!thoudamndSmell-fungus!youraccountofyourlandingandreception,andBullen(Iforgethowyouspellit—itwasspeltmywayinHarrytheEighthstime,)wasexactlyinthatminutestylewhichstrongimpressionsINSPIRE(writingtoaFrenchman,IwriteasaFrenchmanwould).ItappearstomeasifIshoulddiewithjoyatthefirstlandinginaforeigncountry.Itisthenearestpleasure,whichagrownmancansubstituteforthatunknownone,whichhecanneverknow—thepleasureofthefirstentranceintolifefromthewomb.Idaresay,inashorttime,myhabitswouldebacklikea"strongerman"armed,anddriveoutthatnewpleasure;andIshouldsoonsickenforknownobjects.Nothinghastranspiredherethatseemstomeofsufficientimportancetosenddry-shodoverthewater:butIsupposeyouwillwanttobetoldsomenews.Thebestandtheworsttomeis,thatIhavegivenuptwoguineasaweekatthe"Post,"andregainedmyhealthandspirits,whichwereuponthewane.Igrewsick,andStuartunsatisfied.Ludistisatis,tempusabireest;Imustcutcloser,thatsall.
InallthistimeIhavedonebutonething,whichIreckontolerable,andthatIwilltranscribe,becauseitmaygiveyoupleasure,beingapictureofmyhumours.Youwillfinditinmylastpage.ItabsurdlyisafirstNumberofaseries,thusstrangledinitsbirth.
Morenews!TheProfessorsRibhaseouttobeadamnddisagreeablewoman,somuchsoastodrivemeandsomemoreoldcroniesfromhishouse.Ifamanwillkeepsnakesinhishouse,hemustnotwonderifpeopleareshyofingtoseehimbecauseofthesnakes.
C.L.
MisterFell—orasyou,withyourusualfacetiousnessanddrollery,callhim,Mr.F+II—hasstoppedshortinthemiddleofhisplay.Somefriendhastoldhimthatithasnottheleastmeritinit.Oh!thatIhadtherectifyingoftheLitany!Iwouldputinaliberanos(Scriptoresvidelicet)abamicis!Thatsallthenews.Apropos(isitpedantry,writingtoaFrenchman,toexpressmyselfsometimesbyaFrenchword,whenanEnglishonewouldnotdoaswell?methinks,mythoughtsfallnaturallyintoit).
Apropos,Ithinkyouwrongaboutmyplay.Alltheomissionsareright.Andthesupplementaryscene,inwhichSandfordnarratesthemannerinwhichhismasterisaffected,isthebestinthebook.Itstandswhereahodge-podgeofGermanpuerilitiesusedtostand.Iinsistuponitthatyoulikethatscene.Loveme,lovethatscene.
Iwillnowtranscribethe"Londoner"(No.1),andwindupallwithaffectionandhumbleservantattheend.
THELONDONER.No.1.
Inpliancewithmyownparticularhumour,nolessthanwiththylaudablecuriosity,Reader,Iproceedtogivetheesomeaccountofmyhistoryandhabits.IwasbornunderthenoseofSt.Dunstanssteeple,justwheretheconfluxoftheeasternandwesterninhabitantsofthistwofoldcitymeetandjustleinfriendlyoppositionatTemple-bar.ThesamedaywhichgavemetotheworldsawLondonhappyinthecelebrationofhergreatannualfeast.ThisIcannothelplookinguponasalivelytypeoromenofthefuturegreatgoodwillwhichIwasdestinedtobeartowardtheCity,resemblinginkindthatsolicitudewhicheveryChiefMagistrateissupposedtofeelforwhateverconcernsherinterestsandwell-being.Indeed,IconsidermyselfinsomesortaspeculativeLordMayorofLondon:for,thoughcircumstancesunhappilyprecludemefromthehopeofeverarrivingatthedignityofagoldchainandspitalsermon,yetthusmuchwillIsayofmyself,intruth,thatWhittingtonhimselfwithhisCat(justemblemofvigilanceandafurredgown),neverwentbeyondmeinaffection,whichIbeartothecitizens.Shutoutfromservingtheminthemosthonourablemode,Iaspiretodothembenefitinanother,scarcelylesshonourable;andifIcannot,byvirtueofoffice,mitviceandirregularitytothematerialCounter,Iwill,atleast,erectaspiritualone,wheretheyshallbelaidfastbytheheels.Inplainwords,Iwilldomybestendeavourtowritethemdown.
Toreturntomyself(fromwhencemyzealforthePublicgoodisperpetuallycausingmetodigress),Iwillletthee,Reader,intocertainmoreofmypeculiarities.Iwasborn(asyouhaveheard),bred,andhavepassedmostofmytime,inacrowd.Thishasbegotinmeanentireaffectionforthatwayoflife,amountingtoanalmostinsurmountableaversionfromsolitudeandruralscenes.Thisaversionwasneverinterruptedorsuspended,exceptforafewyearsintheyoungerpartofmylife,duringaperiodinwhichIhadfixedmyaffectionsuponacharmingyoungwoman.Everyman,whilethepassionisuponhim,isforatimeatleastaddictedtogrovesandmeadows,andpurlingstreams.Duringthisshortperiodofmyexistence,IcontractedjustenoughfamiliaritywithruralobjectstounderstandtolerablywelleverafterthePoets,whentheydeclaiminsuchpassionatetermsinfavourofacountrylife.
Formyownpart,nowthefitislongpast,Ihavenohesitationindeclaring,thatamobofhappyfacescrowdingupatthepitdoorofDrury-LaneTheatrejustatthehouroffive,givemetenthousandfinerpleasures,thanIeverreceivedfromalltheflocksofsillysheep,thathavewhitenedtheplainsofArcadiaorEpsomDowns.
ThispassionforcrowdsisnowherefeastedsofullasinLondon.Themanmusthaveararerecipeformelancholy,whocanbedullinFleet-street.Iamnaturallyinclinedtohypochondria,butinLondonitvanishes,likeallotherills.OftenwhenIhavefeltawearinessordistasteathome,haveIrushedoutintohercrowdedStrand,andfedmyhumour,tilltearshavewettedmycheekforinutterablesympathieswiththemultitudinousmovingpicture,whichsheneverfailstopresentatallhours,liketheshiftingscenesofaskilfulPantomime.
TheverydeformitiesofLondon,whichgivedistastetoothers,fromhabitdonotdispleaseme.Theendlesssuccessionofshops,whereFancy(miscalledFolly)issuppliedwithperpetualnewgaudsandtoys,exciteinmenopuritanicalaversion.Igladlybeholdeveryappetitesuppliedwithitsproperfood.Theobligingcustomer,andtheobligedtradesmen—thingswhichlivebybowing,andthingswhichexistbutforhomage,donotaffectmewithdisgust;fromhabitIperceivenothingbuturbanity,whereothermen,morerefined,discovermeanness.IlovetheverysmokeofLondon,becauseithasbeenthemediummostfamiliartomyvision.Iseegrandprinciplesofhonouratworkinthedirtyringwhichenpassestwobatantswithfists,andprinciplesofnolesseternaljusticeinthetumultuousdetectorsofapickpocket.Thesalutaryastonishmentwithwhichanexecutionissurveyed,convincesmemoreforciblythananhundredvolumesofabstractpolity,thattheuniversalinstinctofman,inallages,hasleanedtoorderandgoodgovernment.Thusanartofextractingmorality,fromthemonestincidentsofatownlife,isattainedbythesamewell-naturedalchemy,withwhichtheForestersofArdeninabeautifulcountry
Foundtonguesintrees,booksintherunningbrooks,
Sermonsinstones,andgoodineverything—
WherehasspleenherfoodbutinLondon—humour,interest,curiosity,suckathermeasurelessbreastswithoutapossibilityofbeingsatiated.Nursedamidhernoise,hercrowds,herbelovedsmoke—whathaveIbeendoingallmylife,ifIhavenotlentoutmyheartwithusurytosuchscenes?
Reader,inthecourseofmyperegrinationsaboutthegreatcity,itishard,ifIhavenotpickedupmatter,whichmayservetoamusethee,asithasdoneme,awintereveninglong.Whennextwemeet,Ipurposeopeningmybudget—Tillwhen,farewell.
"Whatisallthisabout?"saidMrs.Shandy."Astoryofacockandabull,"saidYorick:andsoitis;butManningwilltakegood-naturedlywhatGodwillsendhimacrossthewater:onlyIhopehewontshuthiseyes,andopenhismouth,asthechildrensay,forthatisthewaytogape,andnottoread.Manning,continueyourlaudablepurposeofmakingmeyourregister.Iwillrenderbackallyourremarks;andI,notyou,shallhavereceivedusurybyhavingreadtheInthemeantime,maythegreatSpirithaveyouinhiskeeping,andpreserveourEnglishmenfromtheinoculationoffrivolityandsinuponFrenchearth.
Allons—orwhatisityousay,insteadofgood-bye?
Marysendsherkindremembrance,andcovetstheremarksequallywithme.
C.LAMB.
[Thereferencetothe"word-banker"and"register"isexplainedbyManningsfirstlettertoLambfromParis,inwhichhesays:"I…begyoutokeepallmyletters.Ihopetosendyoumany—andImayinthecourseoftime,makesomeobservationsthatIshallwishtorecalltomymemorywhenIreturntoEngland."
"AreyouandtheFirstConsulthick?"—Napoleon,withwhomManningwasdestinedonedaytobeonterms.In1803,onthedeclarationofwar,whenhewishedtoreturntoEngland,ManningswastheonlypassportthatNapoleonsigned;again,in1817,onreturningfromChina,ManningwaswreckednearSt.Helena,and,waitingontheislandforaship,conversedtherewiththegreatexile.
"Rumfordising."AwordcoinedbyLambfromSirBenjaminThompson,CountvonRumford,thefounderoftheRoyalInstitution,thedeviseroftheRumfordstove,andatirelessscientificandphilosophicalexperimentalist.
"Smellfungus."AnallusiontoSternesattackonSmollett,inTheSentimentalJourney:"ThelamentedSmelfungustravelledfromBoulognetoParis,fromParistoRome,andsoon;buthesetoutwiththespleenandjaundice,andeveryobjecthepassedbywasdiscolouredordistorted."
"ThePost."Lambhadbeenwritingcriticismsofplays;butStuart,aswehaveseen,wantedthemonthesamenightastheperformanceandLambfoundthisimpossible.
"Ihavedonebutonething"—"TheLondoner,"referredtolater.
"TheProfessorsRib"—Godwinssecondwife,thewidowClairmont(motherofJaneClairmont),whomhehadmarriedinDecember,1801.
"Fell"—R.Fell,authorofaTourthroughtheBatavianRepublic,1801.LaterhepiledaLifeofCharlesJamesFox,1808.Lambknewhim,aswellasFenwick,throughGodwin.
"Apropos,Ithinkyouwrongaboutmyplay."JohnWoodvilhadjustbeenpublishedandLambhadsentManningacopy.Manning,inreturn,hadwrittenfromParisearlyinFebruary:"IshowedyourTragedytoHolcroft,whohadtasteenoughtodiscoverthattisfullofpoetry—buttheplothecondemnsintoto.Tellmehowitsucceeds.Ithinkyouwereilladvisedtoretrenchsomuch.ImissthebeautifulBranchesyouhaveloppedoffandregrettheInsomeofthepagesthesprinklingofwordsissothinastobequiteoutré.Thereyouwerewrongagain."
"TheLondoner"waspublishedintheMorningPost,February1,1802.Ihave"edthearticlefromthatpaper,asLambscopyforManninghasdisappeared.ConcerningitManningwrote,inhisnextletter—April6,1802—"IlikeyourLondonerverymuch,thereisadealofhappyfancyinit,butitisnotstrongenoughtobeseenbythegeneralityofreaders,yetifyouweretowriteavolumeofessaysinthesamestileyoumightbesureofitssucceeding."]
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